doesn't exist. Or perhaps exists in excess.
Someone is watching. Someone is noting that moment when you spilled coffee on your white shirt before the job interview. Someone meticulously recorded the disastrous speech you improvised at your best friend's wedding.
Some say it's the collective pseudonym of three frustrated humorists who meet monthly in different coffee shops, documenting the small tragedies of everyday life over lukewarm lattes. Others insist it's just one person—a silent observer who has witnessed so many social disasters that transforming them into art became inevitable.
The truth? Irrelevant.
What matters is that someone is watching. Someone noticed that moment when you spilled coffee on your white shirt precisely three minutes before the job interview. Someone meticulously recorded the disastrous speech you improvised at your best friend's wedding after "just two glasses" of champagne (we both know it was four).
Since 2023, the books in the "Life is an Unscripted Crap Movie" series have captured the essence of human comedy—those universal moments of embarrassment, frustration, and beautiful absurdity that we all experience but rarely discuss at family gatherings.
Carson never gives interviews. Never participates in book signings. Never responds to emails (though some claim the auto-reply messages are suspiciously witty). The only known photographs show mere silhouettes or shadows—a reminder that the observer prefers to remain invisible, like a literary ghost with excellent comedic timing.
"If life is a movie, most of us are improvising our lines while the camera is already rolling." - Carson Bigram (allegedly)
The Essential Prelude to International Exhaustion
Carson Bigram prefers neither to confirm nor deny. But if you must reach out to the void...
(Auto-replies may be suspiciously witty)